Meltdown

Finally!  A break from the frigid temperatures we have been dealing with this winter.  It is suppose to get up into the mid 40's today.  I booted the cat out onto the back porch to soak up some fresh air.  The snow is melting and I can smell mud.  It makes me happy.

I've been cleaning up around here while I still have time.  I think this will be my last Saturday off for a while.  Rather than cut our hours back to 45 per week at work, we just had them increased.  Next week I'm scheduled for more than 55 hours.  I'm about to have a meltdown -- mentally.  Lately I get up when it is dark out, shower, feed the cat, pack a lunch, drive a half hour to work, work for 10-12 hours, drive home in the dark, sort through the mail/check e-mail/de-stress from work and then go to bed, toss and turn thinking about work, dream about work and then get up and do it all over.  There must be more to life.  I try to make the most of my weekends, but more and more I am too tired to do much more than clean, laundry, bills and maybe visit family or a friend.  And now they are taking away my Saturdays.

I wanted to get together with my friends in Grand Rapids that garden and do a seed swap this year.  I hate buying a whole packet of seed and only being able to plant a couple of them in my own garden.  I thought we could share or pool money to buy seeds to split up.  It doesn't look like I'll be able to organize that... but I have another idea...

If anyone is interested in sharing some seeds, let me know.  I think we could do this by mail.  I am going to be getting some heirloom tomato seeds for sure, perhaps some melon, squash, etc.  I'd like to stick with heirloom seeds if possible so that I can save the seeds for next year.  We could have an even bigger seed swap next year if everyone buys heirloom and learns to preserve the seed.  I'll post more about that this summer.  For now, if interested, send me a comment and we can figure this out.

A few weeks ago I dreamt of my garden.  It was beautiful and lush and I had gotten so carried away with planting it that I accidently took up a huge portion of my landlord's garden space.  Last night, after the crumby news at work I dreamt that someone had trampled my beautiful garden and ruined everything.  I woke up knowing I had dreamt of my job ruining my garden.  I will not let it!  I will work in it by moonlight this year if I must.  It brings me real satisfaction to see hard work turn into something tangible -- like a juicy fresh tomato.  It is more fulfilling than a paycheck to me (unfortunately, I can't live without that paycheck -- yet).

So, for now I will enjoy the weather today and look forward to the future (hopefully a summer with time to do as I please) and try to avoid a major meltdown.